What do you expect?

I'm NOT perfect. Nobody is. So I don't understand why whenever I make a mistake on the chat, or here ,I get banned. And nobody ever gets the full story or what I have to say. They just assume I'm the devil and go on with life. So why is it, tell me, that whenever I've been in an arguement or dissagreement with a mod, that I'm always the one who gets the short end of the stick? Look. I'm not saying that I never make mistakes, but it's just weird to me how others, who are probably more popular, break rules, and nothing happens. I'm never taken seriously here. I never will be taken seriously here. I don't know where the line of respect and good times with each other stopped, but I wish we had it back. I'm sick of having to argue with every person I come into contact with, and getting moshed by the entire chat. The reasons you have given me for not likeing me are:

1. Bawwing. Well guess what. In my book, if somebody does something wrong to you, and your angry about it, so you tell someone that can fix the problem or disagreement, in my book, that's not bawwing. If someone gets their house egged, the cops aren't supposed to be like: "So what? That'll wash off. We've got more important things to do then deal with someone vandalizing your home." It's their JOB. If they weren't prepared to do it, they shouldn't have became a cop. If they didn't want to listen and consider peoples' problems, they should have choosen to be something else.

2.Raping the forums In case you haven't noticed, I stopped that. Not for my own benefit, I enjoyed being active and keeping the forums active. I did it for you guys, and for myself in a way, because I knew it would make you happy(er) than you are with me. I've been trying to change.

3. Flameing Believe it or not, I don't like to argue. I've been trying wih all
I have to made amends with former enemies and make peace. In fact, just last night, I sent out a very sincere forum sm to one of the biggest people that I disagree with here. But if someone is going to mess with me, call me names, or kick or ban me for a reason that isn't in the rules, I'm going to retaliate. It's easy for you to say "Just let it go. Stop bawwing. Cool story,bro. ". But I know that the majority of you reading this right now would do the exact same thing. It's going to make you angry if someone mistreats you. Well, I'm no different than anyone else. For those of you who say "Find other ways to channel your anger. Don't take it out on people." Again, you'd do the same thing. It just happens to be that fate dosen't make it happen to you. Virtual abuse is no different than real life, physical. Honestly, how many of you, if someone walked up and pushed you to the ground in front of all your friends, wouldn't get up and beat the hell out of whoever that was? Or, if your the nonviolent type, how many of you would go and tell someone who would take care of the problem? If you answered yes to either of those questions, then you would do the EXACT same thing that you claim upon me as either 1. Spazzing (Getting in the fight) or 2. Bawwing (Telling someone who can solve the problem).

And then theres that special selection of you that think I act like Zach. Yes I admit, all the qualities mentioned above are Zach like features, but as I said before, you would all do the same thing if you were in my shoes. There's a little bit of Zach in all of us.

Not to mention, my life isn't picture perfect. I have bad days. I try to keep myself in check. But after having a terrible week, and then having my dad or grandpa drive me 20 minutes to another city, EVERY Friday, for the sole purpose of getting on TRT, and getting moshed as soon as I log in. That gets me. And brings out the worst in me.

You don't know how it feels to be me. None of you do. Just like the majority of TRT dosen't know how it feels to be each other. We all have problems. But for most, at least for me, TRT is, or at least used to be, an escape from all that. A place where everyone could just be in a whole different world. But that's all changed now. None of us, and I mean not one person, excluding Aang, can go five seconds without insulting someone else. And I'm not just talking about insulting me. Almost everyone insults each other. And I'm not proud to say that I fit into that group. And even those of us who do keep the peace most of the time, say things behind each others backs. I've seen the most popular people in the chat get badmouthed after logging out. If that is what's said about them, during the few hours before they log back in, I can't imagine what's said about me, during the five days a week I'm gone.

For the sake of showing you that I'm not just making up about my life being stressfull, here are some current events that you probably didn't know about.
-My 18 year old cousin/uncle, who just got married a few months back, is fighting in Afganistan. He's only been in for a few months. Last week, the Humvee he was riding on top of hit an IED, (Improvised Explosive Device). It was COMEPLETELY destroyed. There were just scattered scraps of metal everywhere. He was blown 25 feet off from where he was at. He broke both of his feet, and he's scheduled to have surgery on his foot on Thursday. He had to be flown to out of Afganistan, to a hospital in Germany, then to D.C. My whole family and I have been praying for him. One of the men he was with was killed. He's extremely lucky to be with us today.
-For my upcoming trip to Europe, I've been having to write a lot of letters for sponsorship, and asking local buisnesses to have comitee votes on whether to support me or not. This has been very stressful, aswell as nerveracking. Not to mention, one of the delegation meetings that I HAVE to go to is on May 19. May 19 is the same day that my family and I have went to decorate my Great Grandma's parents' graves in the Appalachian Mountains in KY,forever. I've been doing this, literally, every year since I was born. My Great Grandmaw died five years ago. But my grandmaw (mamaw aka meemaw), her husband, (not my real grandpa), my aunt,(meemaws sister), and her husband, (my great uncle), have been keeping the tradition up all this time. You know that place in the world where it feels like everything else dosen't matter? And that if the Earth was to come to an end, and you were there, it would still be alright? That's exactly what this place is to me. It's honestly the most cherished place in my life. So now I'm torn between this new Europe thing, and keeping up a tradition for my Grandma. I don't know what to do. It's eating me alive.
-School isn't the most fun place,either. I'm not a jock or a guitar player. I've got friends, most of them are just...the dazed and confused type, if you know what I mean. People don't respect that. People constantly try to start fights at my school.

Now, the things I've mentioned above aren't meant to make you feel sorry for me. Their meant to make you realize that when I'm not in a good mood, there's a reason for it. I'm not just being a troll. And I'm not a troll unless someone provokes me. Then I retaliate.

Maybe if some of you would actually take an interest in me, and find out a little about what I'm all about, you'd understand me. If you actually took the time to get to know me, you might end up liking me.

That being said, theres one more thing that I don't understand. The people that actually are nice, and then someone popular logs in, or I get into a dissagreement with someone popular, well those nice people turn mean. They turn two-faced. If your reading this, you know who you are. I'm not just addressing this to one person. Your the person who jokes around, and we're cool, and we have a huge, sincere conversation about something, and then the next day, it's like that conversation never happend. It's just time to mosh me again. You have no idea how bad that makes me feel.

More than anything, the point I'm trying to get across to you guys is that TRT was created as a loving and caring place, where teens could come together and escape from the termoil that is every day life. It's becoming something else. We can still save it...Lets not turn this paradise into a war zone.

So, in front of everyone, right here, right now, I'm vowing to change my ways, in order to make this place the best it can possibly be. Instead of every person for themselves, lets make a place where it's every person FOR every other person. If any of you would like to join me, please come forward and post. If not, that's fine.

I fully understand you, I seriously do not think that everyone lives the perfect life... We're all acting a bit spazzy all the time, especially when we had a rough day or, something didn't happen as we thought it would. We're humans, we're not perfect...
In any case, I apologize for sometimes arguing with you, or any other person in TRT*.


* (Off Topic... Kinda) Except one person, because, once she enters the chat, she begins flaming everyone, and I dislike her... a lot. Especially when she makes fun of my friends.

I feel as though this is all my fault. -.-
Actually it's some of Wall-E's fault but I'll take the blame.

But sometimes Ac, you do kinda of go into your own world and just act in a way that is like WTF to all of us. Maybe that's how you act. Maybe we have to accept it.

We as a whole chat do you need to take a break. We're too tense and what not and we are taking it out on people who do not need the drama right now.

I'll say this though.

I'm sorry.

Mimoz-Pie wrote:I feel as though this is all my fault. -.-
Actually it's some of Wall-E's fault but I'll take the blame.

But sometimes Ac, you do kinda of go into your own world and just act in a way that is like WTF to all of us. Maybe that's how you act. Maybe we have to accept it.

We as a whole chat do you need to take a break. We're too tense and what not and we are taking it out on people who do not need the drama right now.

I'll say this though.

I'm sorry.

I just want to tell you mimoz, that this is NOT all your fault. Please don't feel like it is. And like I said in the post, I only act 'WTF' when I retaliate. But yea, I know I shouldn't retaliate either.

"We as a whole chat do you need to take a break." -I think you typo'd. What did you mean??

mimoz, I'm sorry too. in no way is this just one sides fault. it's my fault too. I know we can be friends if we just forget all that's happend. I remember a time when we used to be friends.if we just let go of all the stuff thats keeping us p'ed at each other all the time, then we can just start over. that would be awesome. but it means a lot that you said what you did. thank you.

CD, I'm 100% positive we can get along. I think the only reason that we've ever disagreed was during the election. that brought out the worst in both of us. But thats over now, and you seem like a really cool person. I think the last time I talked to you we talked about how Greece is different from America.

so thank you both so much for being forgiving, and apologizing. it means a lot.

Ac - I'm sorry if I've ever been mean to you or just said things I don't mean, because, I don't mean it. I think you're right where you say "We all have a little bit of Zach in us" because that my friend, is very true. I have never thought of you as Zach-like, but then again, I cannot be active at the best of times. Now that you have explained, I hope to get to know you better. And for the first paragraph (i.e introduction) I deem it as unfair you are treated differently - I understand the situation entirely (E.g my life at school) So yes, I'm sorry.

bored, it isn't your fault. there was a lot more that happend when you weren't on.

mimoz, I'm sorry for all thats happend. I screwed up. This was just as much my fault, if not more, than anyone else's. I made a mistake. And for that, I'm sorry. I don't like causing problems, or continuing them. I should have just went on, and not brought it back up later. I should've just ignored everything, instead of flipping.

a'ight, well all this stuff's been resolved. i suppose i'll lock this thread just in case.