It's not that important :D

Hey you guys, you might probualy not see this until tomorrow and my reading project is due by then but here is a snippet from it and I want you guys to comment to see if it was good or not. Here it is:


He was not disappointed, as the vision of a beautiful woman met his eyes. Soon settling on the sofa, the two spent hours together in intimate conversation, sipping wine, and joined by the wonderful fragrance of her perfume.

“Fool.” Sir Markham sneered. It was been over two months since he sent someone to go take care of Paul Malone. The artifacts were going to be in his power, he was going to the most feared man on earth. The most dominant person on earth. But now the artifacts are nowhere to be found and his stocks were going down. It seemed that the servants were losing their power to influence people too. He was back on his plane that was heading back to Switzerland with the pilot and a passenger. Sir Markham never traveled anywhere without a bodyguard. Even though their Swiss chalet has been investigated for any mischievous possessions, his servant Rasa and he planned to meet somewhere more private for their taste. The plane landed in his private hangar and his bodyguard stepped out first. Sir Markham then walked out and strode over to a waiting limousine. He entered and quickly filled a glass of wine and tried to relax. As in doing so his mind wandered back to his thoughts of before. I need to find another way to regain my power, to regain my wealth that I so deserve. The limousine seemed to have glided down the passing streets as the driver made its way towards a white building. The luxury car stopped and the bodyguard opened the door for Sir Markham as he got out. He walked to the already opened door and made his way to section of the building where he was suppose to meet Rasa. He felt no emotion at all; that was long gone ever since. He made it there and he saw Rasa sitting at a table. Rasa got up and gestured Sir Markham to take a seat across from him. Both of the men sat down and Sir Markham started.
“I see this place is very private even though the door was left open.” Sir Markham spat
“I knew you were going to arrive soon.” Rasa spoke back
“Very well then. Has the search exposed anything?”
“Nothing.”
“I thought so.”
“Sir Markham, I think this is useless. I don’t think I can agree what our ancestors thought right. Getting power seems like nothing to me now. I’ve risked my life just to find some artifacts that without Paul Malone no of us could control! Look at what we have done. Maybe if we haven’t even started all of this, our world would be a better place! I almost got arrested for what I did. No, I am not having any of this anymore.”
Sir Markham was speechless. Rasa his prime servant was now saying he wanted no part of this? After all they had done over the years. No, Markham has having none of this. “So you are deciding to just give everything you did? Coward.” Markham sneered.
“I’m sorry that you don’t quite agree with me, but there is nothing that can change my mind.”
“Nothing? Nothing at all?” Sir Markham was now standing. He then reached for his pocket and drew out a pistol. When I said Sir Markham never traveled without a bodyguard, he also never traveled without a weapon either. “So how about you change you mind or forget this ever happened before I make you.”
“Threats, should have known. You know I think this power thing was gotten a little over your head,” Rasa said sarcastically “but I have no time for games.” He then snapped his fingers three times. Sir Markham was confused about what he did until it hit him.
“You PLEASE REPORT ME FOR SWEARING!!PLEASE REPORT ME FOR SWEARING!!.”
“Call me what you like.” Rasa snickered. As Rasa said this the police came in. But not just the one from Switzerland, there was the American FBI and the police force from England. They grabbed Markham and spoke “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.”
“You will pay Rasa! YOU WILL PAY!”
“I will pay nothing as you rot in jail.”
With that final notice they dragged Sir Markham out the building and into a police cruiser. He looked and saw his bodyguard and his driver waving at him. They were all in it. The policeman pushed him down inside and looked the door. Horns blaring were how Sir Markham exited out the scene.

very...detailed. cool. Make an epilouge.

Acdog wrote:very...detailed. cool. Make an epilouge.

I had to rewrite the ending so that's why it might be a little confusing.

I'll try to make an epilouge even though it is an epilouge of the story im rewriting. O.O
But yea I will try to explain it more.

Nice ending, Mimoz. Very twistful O:

Was Markham trying to take over the world or something?

WHO SAID MY STORY WAS HORRIBLE D;

now i feel discouraged as a writer. :[

Mimoz-Pie wrote:WHO SAID MY STORY WAS HORRIBLE D;

now i feel discouraged as a writer. :[

Yeah, I'm like who the foo vote that, let's see your better story mr. man-that-vote-that-this-story-is-crap

wasn't me. =D I think its good. don't be discouraged mimoz. Your a really good writer.